the " L" word
My tempo is beating slow, I think it may be the result of a bad mood, or put it more precise, a gloomy mood. Frustration always calms me down. I wanna say something but when I got ready to deliver I held back a little bit or even just kept silent. The text in the phone could have been like “hey, what’re you doing right there? You know what, today I have brought a new…”, but considering he may be busy handling something, finally it may go like:”hey, how things are going?” Try to write a letter, got a piece of paper, but it’s empty.
We have been through many tough times and next week it is gonna be our anniversary---the 999th day and the 1001 —like a fairy tale. Our getting together as a couple startled lots of friends around. Yet the world never follow the rules. Life is like a box of chocolate that Godknows what would come next. We wow, we can't believe it and then we take it easy and finally we forget about it and at last, time will tell us how to take all those odd stuff for granted.
It sometime comes to me that our parents are right; we are just too young to say I really get what love is as well as handling it. Love can be simply put as "oh, thank you, I love you so much", or seriously as" I love you and I will take good care of you." Or poetically as" You are my sweetheart, my whole world and my life. When you are gone my heart is gone with you. "Or, put it philosophically, "you are my soul mate!!”, or comes from a vow---- "i am always beside you, cross my heart."
I think I am capable of loving others yet in this very journey, I always screw things up. I hurt my parents and grandma easily so when you come into one of them, that horrible stuff will haunt around you like a ghost. I enjoy this song because it calls out my heart -----"look what you've done you've made a fool of everyone"
THE inner critic tortures me yet i will still go back to it.
I don’t miss you like the way you miss me, or vice versa. We have doubts, we have fights, we have quarrels, we have totally different opinions. We fight as competitors and we take revenge as enemy. We hurt each other. We ask for more. An eye for an eye and we go all blind. Maybe the timing is beating our heart.
