致那些若即若离的情丝

初听track1 Nomad, 便被其中游离孤独但又广阔辽远的气质所吸引,如同美国西部Cowboy般无拘无束地行走在天地之间。
“But I'd rather be alone than a stranger,
You'd come visit me late at night,
I'd rather wake up alone than be reminded,
Of how it was a dream this time. ”
比起陌生人,我宁可孑然一身,期许你在夜晚来造访我;与其在醒来后发现这一切皆是幻境,我宁可一个人入睡。
这种感情是克制的。倘若注定结束,那么我宁可从未开始。看似理性而清醒的表象下,掩藏的是早已悸动的内心。Clairo由此开始描写自贬——
“It's even irrational for me,
I'm cynical, a mess,
I'm touch starved and shameless. ”
这一切对我来说都是不理性的。(为何我失去了平日的理智?)我愤世嫉俗,我是一团糟;我极度渴望触碰,我真是无耻啊。
如果说track1是在面对这段还未曾确切发生的情愫时,产生了从未发生过的,且和自己一贯感情而矛盾的感觉,进而对自己进行的苛责,那么从track2开始,便是卸下平日的面具后,内心深处真正的渴求。

Sexy to Someone表达的是一种被他人关注的渴望,
“Sexy to somebody, it would help me out,
Oh, I need a reason to get out of the house,
And it's just a little thing I can't live without. ”
对他人有了吸引力,是否意味着我对你也有吸引力了呢?从前我离群索居,是nomadic,但现在我需要一个理由踏出房门,才有可能与你相遇。
Second Nature则表达了在Clairo眼中这段感情的宿命性。只要听见你的声音,我便感到了命运之轮的转动。或许是擦肩而过,或许是在人群中相遇,但她的眼中只有所倾慕之人,他的声音能够穿透一切噪音,到达她的耳边。这种感情很微妙,如同中学时期悄然对其他班的一个男孩子的心动,他甚至并不认识你。但你每天都期许着和他相见,哪怕只是在下课,在集会的人群中的一瞥。
“And once you get in my ear,
I see kismet sinking in,
It's second nature,
Like the sap from a cedar,
Rolling down to be near her. “
Clairo将这种后天习得的本能比作流淌的雪松树树脂,与她的音色一样,温柔而绵长。

到了track4与track5,Clairo开始与心中的爱人有了接触。
Slow Dance写的是与爱人的共舞。然而在舞会结束后,爱人却转身离去,Clairo窥探到他的心中还有另一个人,“You used to know her ”,但仍然在心中对爱人说“You've got people to turn to ”。这里能够做出许多不同的理解(这也恰恰是歌曲的奥妙所在,能够让听者生成自己的故事画面)在我看来,此刻Clairo的心上人刚结束了上一段感情,但心中仍旧记挂着前女友。与Clairo共舞的slow dance也是心不在焉,魂不守舍的。
于是在Thank You中,Clairo便开始表达对这份感情的困惑与疑虑——
“Sometimes I wonder if you were the one,
When you opened the door, cracked me wide open,
Something about it doesn't sit right with me,
And how could it be?
When I walk away, it always comes in threes. ”
有时我怀疑你是否是命中注定之人(对应Second Nature中的宿命感),每当我走开时,坏事总是接二连三,仿佛这段感情只能靠我来维系。“We don't get on, can't make you laugh, personality. ”我们不合拍,我也没办法逗你笑,Clairo继续写到。“I really hate to admit it, I put my pride on the line. ”我真讨厌承认这一点,但我所做的这一切,都是冒着失去尊严的风险。的确,Clairo在track1中便已书写了自己想要独立于人群的态度,这是一种清高且带着一些傲气的生活方式。因此,为了爱人卑微至此,诚然已在冒着失去尊严的风险。然而在这首歌中,Clairo并没有选择继续控诉爱人,而是写到:“Cause when I met you, I knew it, I'd thank you for your time. ”早在认识你的那天我便已预感到将发生的一切,即便如此,我还是要感谢你选择与我共度的时间。这何尝不是一种kismet呢?

Terrapin是Clairo对爱人的轻声言语——我们可以沿着公路,开车到任何地方,小酌两杯,你可以向我诉说你的一切。我不会哭泣,不会退缩。蕴藏着Clairo温柔的力量,她愿意去包容爱人的一切,尝试让彼此靠近。
“We can go wherever we want,
The plains, the sand, the salt, the dust,
You can say whatever you want.
It's a simple thing, we're all afraid and shy away,
I guess I don't shy,
I guess I don't shy. ”
Juna则描写了甜蜜的恋爱。Juna是希腊神话中众神之王Jupiter的妻子,是婚姻与诞生女神。Clairo在这首歌中写道,
“You make me wanna,
Go dancing,
Try on feminine,
Go buy a new dress,
Slip off a new dress. ”
完完全全初恋时的心理活动,是flipped,是charm,是小鹿乱撞的心悦与悸动。

然而从track8 Add Up My Love开始,失恋降临。“If I could wait for a time, To be sad about it, sad about it, I'd choose a day when you've gone away, And I'm all alone upstate. ”你离开我的那一天,我独自一个人北上。
“Do you miss my hands hanging on the back of your neck?
Do you miss my name? Said it in between your breath,
Do you miss my laugh? Hear it from the back of the room,
Do you miss all the ways I put you in your place?
You say you like all of my attitude. ”
Clairo运用了大量的笔墨来描写二人相处时的细枝末节。我搭在你后颈的手,从房间后面传来的笑声……Clairo将这些细节单拎出来,形成了一个蒙太奇。与一个人离别后,往往想起的便是曾经的这些细节。Clairo细腻地再现了这些场景。每当月亮升起时,我都会想起这些曾经。这一切是否是一厢情愿的单相思呢?我们尚且无法做出判断。但从歌词我们不难推测出,这个男孩或许只喜欢Clairo对他的态度,安抚他失恋后的情绪。
Track9 Echo讲述想要昭告全世界的爱意,即使无果,即使“our love goes nowhere. ”
Track10 Glory of the Snow描绘了失恋后回忆的反噬,Clairo在这首歌里书写了大量的心理活动——
“When I drive, I always check over the seat,
I could see you right there, waiting on me,
For a moment, I heard the rustle in leaves,
When I cry, I wanna give you a ring,
I can breathe with you right there,
I dust the windows, the shutters, the channels,
Where you'd sit, paper and pen,
Sweeping under rugs. ”
二人或许短暂地相恋于盛夏,如今已是隆冬。在开车时,我还是习惯看向你的座位,仿佛你还在那里等着我。Clairo把这一切,称为雪花反射的光芒,远看耀眼,一触碰却破碎。如梦如幻月,若即若离花。
在最后一首曲目Pier 4中,Clairo谈及了这段亲密关系的不真实,与自己的救赎。她形容这段关系为“close is not close enough. ”看似接近,实则疏远。两个人的心或许从未真正接近过。在这段转瞬即逝的关系中,Clairo不再反思自己是否有哪里做的不好,而是直接指出了对方的不成熟——
“You'll find a reason, you'll just chalk it up,
To being different, being young,
And wonder why no one knew you at all,
Oh, you're just playin' dumb,
What's the cost of it? Of being loved?”
你总是把一切归结于年轻,埋怨为何没有人懂自己。事实上你只是在假装无知,从未思考过被爱意味着什么。在对这段关系的反思中,Clairo也实现了对自己的救赎——“Open my hands and I know I've shed some, Where's the fun in it? And now I'm too tough.”

如同Pitchfork所写,“Just a touch: more intimate than pining from afar, sure, but not a kiss or even so much as an embrace. These kinds of experiences—when the memory of a tiny gesture captures the entirety of your attention.”仅仅是一次触碰:比遥远的思念更加亲密,但绝不是一次亲吻或拥抱。类似于这样的经历——当对一个微小举动的回忆占据了你的所有注意力。
“On Charm, she retains her attention to these fleeting touches, but pairs them with a lush, rich production, sinking deeper into a soft rock sound that is at once smoldering and whimsical.”在Charm这张专辑中,Clairo保留了对这些转瞬即逝触碰的关注,并将它们与华丽丰富的音乐制作结合,陷入更深层的轻摇滚氛围当中,时而忧郁,时而异想天开。
“Clairo developed on Sling and crafted arrangements dense with Wurlitzer, mellotron, piano, and organ. “Slow Dance” ends with fluttering flute and clarinet; “Terrapin” is filled with piano flourishes. ”Clairo在第二张专辑Sling的基础上精心制作。运用了密集的电钢琴、mellotron合成器、钢琴和风琴的。例如,“Slow Dance”以飘动的长笛和单簧管结束;“Terrapin”则丰富运用了钢琴。
Charm讲述的是一种短暂的迷恋,Clairo用她独特的音色讲述了一段转瞬即逝的爱恋。整张专辑仿佛是一片静谧的树林,在这片林中,任由听者去感受其中摇曳的爱恋和短暂的露水情缘。