SCARING THE HOES

I never listened to JPEGMafia's material, though he lands right in my territory, starting from his stage name: weird-ass with a touch of playfulness, as if pasted right out of a random rap name generator, Childish Gambino style; or apologetically stolen from some obscure technical term, like stack canary (this example is not actually relevant, I just love this term).

This energy carries straight to the project itself. *SCARING THE HOES* is one of, if not the most lore-packed album I've seen in a long time, and the vibe-building avoids all the corny pitfalls a "concept" album might jump right in. It starts from the name (on which [Anthony Fantano did a hilariously serious etymological analysis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh3b0684RuU)) and the obviously cult movie-inspired cover art. And it carries over to the track list, which doubles as a internet savviness exam, while being playful and random here and there: the opening track is simply named *Lean Beef Patty*, a TikTok fitness video creator: what's she doing here? And what does she have to do with the track? The MVs are of course lo-fi (what else do you expect?), but not in a corny and aesthetics-only way as did Drake's *Jumbotron Shit Poppin*, but natural. It just feels like something Peggy and Danny could have made. The album was entirely produced on an SP-404 machine, devoid of any digital audio workstations (DAWs). But that's only the cherry on top at this point.

I've only tipped my toes, if not my toenails, into experimental hiphop. I lost my virginity to *Yeezus*, which was pleasant at first, but got dull after an extended period of listening. Apart from the collage-style and unmistakably Kanye *Bound 2*, the rest of the album feels more or less like an one trick pony, relying on soul/R&B/choir samples, heavily distorted bass and synthesizers a bit too much than it should. My second attempt was with *The Money Store*, but after a love-at-first-sight with the first track, I got weirded out with the second. Guess that album *was* scaring the hoes.

So, despite, and probably thanks to my meager exposure, my experience with *SCARING THE HOES* is largely positive. True, the album still pulls from the tried-and-true experimental hiphop toolbox: the distorted instruments and vocals, choirs, and samples that seem out of place are still here. But either though tasteful choice, or combination, or both of the two, the final result comes off as diverse and refreshing. The opening track *Lean Beef Patty* features a hyper-sped-up sample of Diddy's *I Need a Girl*, at a speed which would put Kanye to shame. The entire title track is accompanied by a rhythmic sound of what seems too forceful and "meaty" to be clapping and too regular in its interval and intonation to be, well, another type of clapping. They are probably laughing as we argue what kind of clapping is it right now.

*Burfict!* features march-like horns and ephemeral and echoey drums, making it one of the grander cuts on the album. *Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up/Muddy Waters* is a two-part track, transitioning from wild, destructive and unchecked energy (with a lot of "shut yo bitch ass up!"s) to a more forward and menacing beat. The rhyming scheme, sparse yet cold piano keys and the screeching halts makes the latter part overwhelmingly overwhelming.

*God Loves You*, in another case of subtle fuck-everythingness, chooses to arrange, and successfully arranged the most unlikely triangular matrimony in history: a uplifting, almost hyperactive anthem, a few dozen Bible references, and hyper-sexual bars. *Jack Harlow Combo Meal*, a nod to the trend of music superstars collaborating with fast food chains, takes the traditional jazz hiphop formula and flips it on its head. *HOE (Heaven on Earth)* features choirs. That alone makes it good.

The bars are mediocre on this album (with the exception of *God Loves You*, which is hilarious), but some might argue that that's not the point: the point is the consistently solid production, refreshing arrangement decisions, and the playfulness and weirdness that permeates the release. This I agree.

**8.5**/10