42|o●ö的音乐

以前抄的原盘歌词里的话 "This album is dedicated to, and is for, and about the death of the sweetheart. In a social plane, impossible to exist, and in memories, past defeating present. We mourn the sweetheart's loss in a disgusting world of opportunistic lottery ticket holders caring about nothing that is long term, only the cheap thrill, the kick, the for the moment pleasure, the easy way out, the bragging rights and trophy holding. The thirteen year tattoo. the hard attitude, devil may care, don't call your parents, drink, insult, thank only yourself, and blame the rest if you don't get yours. Gone to ether, gone to your mother's hope chest, buried in the boot of the rocker, the trunk of the car, and they get laughs, they get home late, they missed the rent, they forgot your money, they've got a new friend, they won't be told they are wrong. Burn baby burn, take the trash to the living room, laugh at the sweetheart, you and your friend can kill it if television’s aim is bad, break it, hard or die. Hard or die. It keeps going, you’re not wrong, don’t worry about it, what matters? You’re having fun right? Break the rules rebel, break them hard, help yourself. Make yourself at home, turn on the video games, don’t bother to contact, gorge yourself, it’s all here for you, take your sweet time, if you’re confronted by it, blow it off and get paid quick. This is what it’s all about, and we’re with you baby, take my bite as high support, take my argument as just something that’s my problem, you don’t need this, you need to please yourself. The dream is alive and well, and we don’t want to wake up from it. Ethics, morals, spirits, breakfast cereals. Honesty in bloom, heart on sleeve, life ever exposed and safe, Courtesy to them and all you know, cinnamon and cider mills past last night’s drenched roof shingles, down and cotton covered breath, out in the open with nothing to hide, mention of soft paper and pine, soda powder and brown paper bags, angora and hound’s tooth, youth and canvas, fresh color, blind chance and forward stumble, scarlet mood, and white ivory shimmering laugh, safe in mind and comfort in home, absent of flies and anger, blankets of your own, peaches in cellar, subtle hair and skin, sand and leaf, felt napkin and clothing line, warm air from heating vent, snow on ground, reunions of sane unforced presence, motherly intervention held in suspense, enraptured holy sight, reception in halls, your Sunday go to meeting, your helping hand, your summersault, your attic, your home and your preservation, so simple, so untouched, this is as wise as raven and as easy to trust, yet have they known, and yet may they wonder, with words and thought and thorn, this spirit and persona under. " 还有一段,歌词上引用的: "We shall soon be far away from you.but then you would never know it.You don't need anybody.inhuman that you are. How strange it is that we cannot do without you. K.Johnson(1905)"

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贴歌词： "self evident" (inspired by the WTC disaster) yes, us people are just poems we're 90% metaphor with a leanness of meaning approaching hyper-distillation and once upon a time we were moonshine rushing down the throat of a giraffe yes, rushing down the long hallway despite what the p.a. announcement says yes, rushing down the long stairs with the whiskey of eternity fermented and distilled to eighteen minutes burning down our throats down the hall down the stairs in a building so tall that it will always be there yes, it's part of a pair there on the bow of noah's ark the most prestigious couple just kickin back parked against a perfectly blue sky on a morning beatific in its indian summer breeze on the day that america fell to its knees after strutting around for a century without saying thank you or please and the shock was subsonic and the smoke was deafening between the setup and the punch line cuz we were all on time for work that day we all boarded that plane for to fly and then while the fires were raging we all climbed up on the windowsill and then we all held hands and jumped into the sky and every borough looked up when it heard the first blast and then every dumb action movie was summarily surpassed and the exodus uptown by foot and motorcar looked more like war than anything i've seen so far so far so far so fierce and ingenious a poetic specter so far gone that every jackass newscaster was struck dumb and stumbling over 'oh my god' and 'this is unbelievable' and on and on and i'll tell you what, while we're at it you can keep the pentagon keep the propaganda keep each and every tv that's been trying to convince me to participate in some prep school punk's plan to perpetuate retribution perpetuate retribution even as the blue toxic smoke of our lesson in retribution is still hanging in the air and there's ash on our shoes and there's ash in our hair and there's a fine silt on every mantle from hell's kitchen to brooklyn and the streets are full of stories sudden twists and near misses and soon every open bar is crammed to the rafters with tales of narrowly averted disasters and the whiskey is flowin like never before as all over the country folks just shake their heads and pour so here's a toast to all the folks who live in palestine afghanistan iraq el salvador here's a toast to the folks living on the pine ridge reservation under the stone cold gaze of mt. rushmore here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors who daily provide women with a choice who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city just to listen to a young woman's voice here's a toast to all the folks on death row right now awaiting the executioner's guillotine who are shackled there with dread and can only escape into their heads to find peace in the form of a dream cuz take away our playstations and we are a third world nation under the thumb of some blue blood royal son who stole the oval office and that phony election i mean it don't take a weatherman to look around and see the weather jeb said he'd deliver florida, folks and boy did he ever and we hold these truths to be self evident: #1 george w. bush is not president #2 america is not a true democracy #3 the media is not fooling me cuz i am a poem heeding hyper-distillation i've got no room for a lie so verbose i'm looking out over my whole human family and i'm raising my glass in a toast here's to our last drink of fossil fuels let us vow to get off of this sauce shoo away the swarms of commuter planes and find that train ticket we lost cuz once upon a time the line followed the river and peeked into all the backyards and the laundry was waving the graffiti was teasing us from brick walls and bridges we were rolling over ridges through valleys under stars i dream of touring like duke ellington in my own railroad car i dream of waiting on the tall blonde wooden benches in a grand station aglow with grace and then standing out on the platform and feeling the air on my face give back the night its distant whistle give the darkness back its soul give the big oil companies the finger finally and relearn how to rock-n-roll yes, the lessons are all around us and a change is waiting there so it's time to pick through the rubble, clean the streets and clear the air get our government to pull its big dick out of the sand of someone else's desert put it back in its pants and quit the hypocritical chants of freedom forever cuz when one lone phone rang in two thousand and one at ten after nine on nine one one which is the number we all called when that lone phone rang right off the wall right off our desk and down the long hall down the long stairs in a building so tall that the whole world turned just to watch it fall and while we're at it remember the first time around? the bomb? the ryder truck? the parking garage? the princess that didn't even feel the pea? remember joking around in our apartment on avenue D? can you imagine how many paper coffee cups would have to change their design following a fantastical reversal of the new york skyline?! it was a joke, of course it was a joke at the time and that was just a few years ago so let the record show that the FBI was all over that case that the plot was obvious and in everybody's face and scoping that scene religiously the CIA or is it KGB? committing countless crimes against humanity with this kind of eventuality as its excuse for abuse after expensive abuse and it didn't have a clue look, another window to see through way up here on the 104th floor look another key another door 10% literal 90% metaphor 3000 some poems disguised as people on an almost too perfect day should be more than pawns in some asshole's passion play so now it's your job and it's my job to make it that way to make sure they didn't die in vain sshhhhhh.... baby listen hear the train?

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"knuckle down" that's just my cowgirl alter-ego riding on her bar room bull dripping with the sweat of irony as the cowboys whoop and drool shooting glances at the mirror to see if her scar is showing she is truly going nowhere tonight lecherous old lady wanna-be much too young and shy flailing her whole life just thinking she can teach herself to fly vehement romantic frantic for forever right now but forever's going nowhere tonight sick of goading her self-loathing she thinks, i think i'd better leave 'course whiskey makes me smarter and i'm happy as can be but please excuse me darlin it's not you it's me and there's a dusty old dust storm on mars, they say so tonight you can't see it too clear still i stood in line to look through their telescope looked like a distant ship light as seen from a foggy pier and i know that i was warned still it was not what i hoped yes i know that i was warned still it was not what i hoped i think i'm done gunnin to get closer to some imagined bliss i gotta knuckle down and just be ok with this i'm gonna knuckle down just be ok with this 'course that star struck girl is already someone i miss i swear some stuff you just see better from further away and i think i communicate best now, the less i say and i can't dance if the band can't play and the vibe is going nowhere tonight 'cuz somewhere between Hollywood and its pretty happiness and an anguish so infinite it's anybody's guess is a place where people are all teachers and this just one long class and that ass will get you nowhere tonight there's a dusty old dust storm on mars they say so tonight you can't see it too clear still i stood in line to look through their telescope looked like a distant ship light as seen from a foggy pier and i know that i was warned still it was not what i hoped yeah i know that i was warned still it was not what i hoped i think i'm done gunnin to get closer to some imagined bliss i gotta knuckle down just be ok with this gotta knuckle down just be ok with this 'course that star struck girl is already someone i miss "studying stones" i am out here studying stones trying to learn to be less alive using all of my will to keep very still still even on the inside i've cut all of the pertinent wires so my eyes can't make that connection i am holding my breath i am feigning my death when i'm looking in your direction 'course numb is an old hat old as my oldest memories see that one's my mother and that one's my father and that one in the hat, that's me it's a skill i'd hoped to abandon when i got out on the open road but any more pent up emotion and i think i'm gonna explode there's never been an endeavor so strange as trying to slow the blood in my veins to keep my face blank as a stone that just sank until not a ripple remains i am high above the tree line sitting cross legged on the ground when all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted that's when i'm gonna come down 'course numb is an old hat old as my oldest memories see that one's my mother and that one's my father and that one in the hat, that's me it's a skill i'd hoped to abandon when i got out on the open road but any more pent up emotion and i think i'm gonna explode "manhole" i'm holding here a book notable, but not the greatest stolen for me by the latest in a long line of thieves and i'm just about to drop it down that manhole of memories when i realize it doesn't bother me like love's mementos usually do and i look up to see who's different here the latest me or the latest you course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie he just doctors everything chooses some unassuming finger and quietly moves his wedding ring who rewrites his autobiography for any pretty girl who'll sing but you can't fool the queen, baby cuz i married the king and maybe it was i who betrayed his majesty with no opposite reality like a puddle with no reflection of the sky or the trees but after my dreaded beheading i tied that sucker back on with a string and i guess i'm pretty different now considering i kissed you on the street that night on the far side of four but i didn't like the taste in my mouth or yours and ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit for once i had the balls to call it just call it but a lesson must be lived in order to be learned and the clarity to see and stop this now that is what i've earned and maybe it was i who betrayed his majesty with no opposite reality like a puddle with no reflection of the sky or the trees but after my dreaded beheading i tied that sucker back on with a string and i guess i'm pretty different now considering i'm holding here a book notable, but not the greatest stolen for me by the latest in a long line of thieves and i'm just about to drop it down that manhole of memories when i realize it doesn't bother me and heartache not so dire cuz i looked up to see integrity finally won over desire "sunday morning" sunday morning slow beats seething through the screens in the open windows eggs frying legs shaking after we stayed lying so long in bed sunday morning both of us reading and looking up occasionally looking up occasionally sunday morning you're doing your thing and i am doing mine speaking words more a formality cuz we can feel we are of one mind sunday morning sheets still warm kitties swarming around our feet life comes easy your sweet company making it so complete of all the monday through fridays we joined the crusade of all the saturday nights in which we were made of all the exorcisms i've done with your ghosts still it's sunday morning i miss you the most "modulation" in order to say thank you to you i must do it intentionally but tonight with every breath i can feel my death sure as i can feel my knees you were my modulation so that's what you will always be we took each other higher we set each other free course, neither of us were wearing helmets and our blood was just everywhere and when the morphine kicked in later the censors threw their hands up in despair and that's when the truth came marching in and promptly pulled the plug but you were better than any drug you were better than any drug in order to say thank you to you i must do it intentionally but tonight with every breath i can feel my death sure as i can feel my knees you were my modulation and that's what you will always be we took each other higher then we set each other free we set each other free "seeing eye dog" you're my seeing eye dog and i am blind you take me there every time with that winning combination of loyal and kind your eyes like wells to the water of your mind i want to take a long, cool drink from your bucket to every thought i could think now, i say fuck it i just want to go with how i feel like my only job here is to care for and covet you, dear i love the way your stories seem to fall from your lips with just enough slobber so it sparkles and drips the way you hang the whole room on a word like a little stick in the beak of a bird first we touched fingers and then we touched toes then my army surrendered my government overthrown i threw myself a little role reversal and followed you home just dying to be chewed the dog was chosen by the bone be my seeing eye dog cuz i am blind just take me there one more time with that winning combination of loyal and kind your eyes like wells to the water of your mind i want to take a long, cool drink from your bucket to every thought i could think now, i say fuck it i just want to go with how i feel like my only job here is to care for and covet you, dear "lag time" there's really no hope for me and that three second rule somethin gets dropped and still i'm the slowest damn fool slow to realize what's really going on slow to know in a moment who or what has gone wrong i wanna tighten down on the lag time your consonants were buzzing around your head like flies your true colors were showing and your shape and your size you were drinking your way though it i was shrinking right there inside of my clothes my eventual twenty/twenty arms crossed tapping her toe i gotta tighten down on the lag time survivors are part turtle we are part potato bug we know enough to go fetal 'til it's still up above and you gotta crawl through the desert between when you hear it and when you can play it with your hands just to rendezvous with whoever you are when you finally understand i gotta tighten down on the lag time i wanna tighten down on the lag time gotta tighten down on the lag time "parameters" thirty-three years go by and not once do you come home to find a man sitting in your bedroom that is a man you don't know who came a long way to deliver one very specific message: lock your back door, you idiot however invincible you imagine yourself to be you are wrong thirty-three years go by and you loosen the momentum of teenage nightmares your breasts hang like a woman's and you don't jump at shadows anymore instead you may simply pause to admire those that move with the grace of trees dancing past streetlights and you walk through your house without turning on lamps sure of the angle from door to table from table to staircase sure of the number of steps seven to the landing two to turn right then seven more sure you will stroll serenely on the moving walkway of memory across your bedroom and collapse with a sigh onto your bed shoes falling thunk thunk onto the floor and there will be no strange man suddenly all that time sitting there sitting there on what must be the prize chair in your collection of uncomfortable chairs with a wild look in his eyes and hands that you cannot see holding what? you do not know so sure are you of the endless drumming rhythm of your isolation that you are painfully slow to adjust if only because yours is not that genre of story still and again, life cannot muster the stuff of movies no bullets shattering glass instead fear sits patiently fear almost smiles when you finally see him though you have kept him waiting for thirty-three years and now he has let himself in and he has brought you fistfuls of teenage nightmares though you think you see, in your naivete that he is empty handed and this brings you great relief at the time new as you are, really, to the idea that even after you've long since gotten used to the parameters they can all change while you're out one night having a drink with a friend some big hand may be turning a big dial switching channels on your dreams until you find yourself lost in them and watching your daily life with the sound off and of course having cautiously turned down the flame under your eyes there are more shadows around everything your vision a dim flashlight that you have to shake all the way to the outhouse your solitude elevating itself like the spirit of the dead presiding over your supposed repose not really sleep at all just a sleeping position and a series of suspicious sounds a clanking pipe a creaking branch the footfalls of a cat all of this and maybe the swish of the soft leather of your intruder's coat as you walk him step by step back to the door having talked him down off the ledge of a very bad idea soft leather, big feet, almond eyes the kinds of details the police officer would ask for later with his clipboard and his pistol in your hallway "callous" you cried and you cried and you cried wolf so it took me a minute to understand that you really were hurt bad that day you deeply cut your hand and then that look that you gave me sent me rushing through guilt's door i'd already started to feel callous like i really should care more it was my work that kept me upright so you called it a crutch while i drifted off into dreams of such and such and by the time we'd come full circle we knew exactly what to do just keep looking at the triangle instead of what it's pointing to but you can't will yourself happy you can't will your cunt wet you can't keep standing at the station pretending you're being met you can't wear a sign that says 'yours' when that ain't what you get it flows and flows away from me my love is a stream your love is a vaudeville show so charming and obscene we both had our moments we both had our fun and then i hated to prove 'em all right all those who said i'd run but you can't will yourself happy you can't will your cunt wet you can't keep standing at the station pretending you're being met you can't keep wearing a sign that says 'yours' when that ain't what you get "paradigm" i was born to two immigrants who knew why they were here they were happy to pay taxes for the schools and roads happy to be here they took it seriously the second job of citizenry my mother went campaigning door to door and holding to her hand was me i was just a girl in a room full of women licking stamps and laughing i remember the feeling of community brewing of democracy happening but i suppose like anybody i had to teach myself to see all that stuff that got lost on its way to church all that stuff that got lost on its way to school all that stuff that got lost on its way to the house of my family all that stuff that was not lost on me teach myself to see each of us through the lens of forgiveness like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!) teach myself to smile and stop and talk to a whole other color kid teach myself to be new in an instant like the truth is accessible at any time teach myself it's never really one or the other there's a paradox in every paradigm i was just a girl in a room full of women licking stamps and laughing i remember the feeling of community brewing of democracy happening "minerva" you wandered in to the forest following that shiny red ball and by the time you looked up you were lost but that's not all you confused your journey with my journey you tried to nail me like minerva to your bow but my job here is not to deliver you but to hold a mirror till you see how oh say can you see me oh say can you see me oh say can you see me over here? you want me to tell you a story but i am weary of entertaining i'll have more to say when i'm happy 'course, then i'll have less to sing but there's no me left for me no incidental time of day no wild adventures except in darkness so dark i'd rather not say oh say can you see me oh say can you see me oh say can you see me over here? over here way over here "recoil" come home and my guitar has nothin to say to me i recoil from all my friends and then i'm in misery been so long since i've been held really since i was his probably just need to be held that's probably all it is course, then i think of my dad who time travels mostly now back to when he was free and holding out hope somehow who sits all day in a line of wheelchairs against a wall inventing ways to play out time like us all like us all to all the people out there tonight who are comforting themselves if you should happen to see my light you can stop and ring my bell i'm just sittin here in this sty strewn with half written songs taking one breath at a time nothin much going on nothin much going on little flashing zero on my answering machine rats scratching at my brain brain shuffling its feet yes i have my father's heart it may or may not keep on trying can't really tell you what it is keeps me this side of that dark line but i'm not there to take care of him and i'm not here to take care of me i'm going outside to watch the house burn down across the street i'm going outside to watch the house burn down across the street to all the people out there tonight who are comforting themselves if you should happen to see my light you can stop and ring my bell i'm just sitting here in this sty strewn with half written songs taking one breath at a time nothin much going on nothin much going on

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